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Get out of my dreams and into my Car Porn Action Movie Franchise Part 6

BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
edited May 2013 in Social Entropy++
FAST AND FURIOUS 6

movies-fast-and-furious-6-poster.jpg

Hrmm... that seems a little somber and quiet

NEW-Fast-and-Furious-6-poster.jpg

Thats a little more like it...

http://youtu.be/dZpc936_Hgo

OK! YES THIS IS WHAT I WANT FUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEEEAAAAAH

Fast and Furious 6 is the latest installment in the deliriously silly but exciting franchise. We get to meet up with all our favorite characters such as:


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Vin Diesel as Mumbly, getting kind of chubby former face of the franchise who is now superfluous because of the addition of...

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The Rock as way bigger, buffer, more charismatic former adversary now coming to our heroes for help

Also starring!

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Paul Walker as charisma black hole who says "cuz" a lot and is ostensibly the 2nd lead

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Jordanna Brewster as somehow we are supposed to believe related to Vin Diesel plus charisma black hole's baby mama

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Tyrese Gibson as buff black guy who replaced vin diesel when he didnt want to do Fast 2 and has stuck around as a tertiary character

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Michelle Rodriguez as character that was supposed to be dead but turns out she isnt because they made another movie

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Sung Kang as that guy who died in Tokyo Drift but was so cool that every movie made after Tokyo Drift has taken place chronologically before just so he could still be around

Ludacris_Fast_And_Furious_6_Kore_Magazine_1-625x416.jpg
Ludacris as goofy black comic relief


MAY 24TH ARE YOU GUYS 2 READY 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS


SIX
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Balefuego on
«13

Posts

  • HullisHullis I'm no more a spy than you are- A doctor.Registered User regular
    YES
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  • BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    Thank you Hullis

    I was briefly worried no one else was as excited for this as me
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • HullisHullis I'm no more a spy than you are- A doctor.Registered User regular
    I would postulate that Paul Walker has maybe the best gig in show business

    dude makes bank and all he has to do is not undermine the script with his performance
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  • Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt w o r s h i p c a t g o dRegistered User regular
    who are you guys' favorite fasters

    mine is TYRESE
    02YsrWP.jpg
  • Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt w o r s h i p c a t g o dRegistered User regular
    his line about bein hongry in 2 fast is a line I have repeated throughout my daily life for roughly a decade now
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  • Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt w o r s h i p c a t g o dRegistered User regular
    my second favorite faster is MONICAAAAAAA
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  • BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    guys Fast Five is on tv right now guess what I am doing
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • World as MythWorld as Myth Registered User regular
    6 fast 6 furious
    awesome-sig.png
    Blake T wrote: »
    The most difficult part of dating Kate is deciding which of your friends she is going to kill.
  • Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt w o r s h i p c a t g o dRegistered User regular
    Balefuego wrote: »
    guys Fast Five is on tv right now guess what I am doing

    Furiously masturbating
    02YsrWP.jpg
  • MrDapperMrDapper Two Sides of A Coin Registered User regular
    Fast Five is a fantastic movie.
    iExidXCdtAXFB.jpg
  • BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    Balefuego wrote: »
    guys Fast Five is on tv right now guess what I am doing

    Furiously masturbating

    unrelated
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt w o r s h i p c a t g o dRegistered User regular
    bale your picture of luda seems to no longer feature luda
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  • RoloRolo Registered User regular
    6fa6t6furiou6
  • Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt w o r s h i p c a t g o dRegistered User regular
    I am disappointed in the zero effort title, though
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  • HyperBalladHyperBallad HARD TO SPOT Miami, FloridaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2013
    Please tell me I'm not the only one who read the thread title as Get Out of my dreams and into my cat porn action movie franchise...
    HyperBallad on
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  • MagellMagell Registered User regular
    I want the excuse of bringing back Michelle Rodriguez's character to be awful.

    My preference is that it's her twin sister that nobody knew about, but as long as it's awful and everybody accepts it as fact, I'm going to be fine with it.
  • MrDapperMrDapper Two Sides of A Coin Registered User regular
  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Chareth Cutestory Lawyer of the SeaRegistered User regular
    I've never seen one of these movies

    When the franchise started I figured it was basically Car Porn: The Movie and since I really don't care about cars, I passed

    But now they've got The Rock in it and suddenly I care
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    You're a crook, Captain Hook, Judge, won't you throw the book at the pirate!
  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    i have a humongous crush on michelle rodriguez and i don't care who knows it

    i even liked her on lost
  • BogeyBogey Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    What the hell, satanfingers?!

    What. The. Hell.
    XBox LIVE: Bogestrom
    PSN: Bogestrom

    R.I.P. Wampa Milk
  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    Bogey wrote: »
    What the hell, satanfingers?!

    What. The. Hell.

    ana lucia had a really tough life :(
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus The machine is broken. The universe is broken.Registered User regular
    hey Bale you forgot to mention Gal Gadot

    you should mention her
  • PharezonPharezon Struggle is an illusion. Victory is in the Qun.Registered User regular
    joe-taslim-in-fast-and-furious-6.jpg
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  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    So excited
    headphones2.jpg SC2:Bendery.235
  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    a really fun game to play is to watch the climax of Fast Five and keep a running tally of how many people our heroes probably killed with that bank vault and its subsequent chase.

    spoiler alert: it gets well up into the double digits. possibly triple digits if you consider that car crashes become fatal around 35+ mph
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  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Registered User regular
    I was like 80 percent sure the fight between Vin Diesel and The Rock in Fast 5 was gonna end with them fucking

    My friends and I were drunk in the back row of the empty matinee theater chanting "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
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  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Registered User regular
    Also anybody who doesn't think that chained bank vault scene was anything short of legitimately incredible needs to get their head checked

    Isn't that badass MMA fighter from Haywire in this?
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  • I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights fuck tough be coolRegistered User regular
    i've never seen a single fast and the furious movie
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  • I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights fuck tough be coolRegistered User regular
    or die hard
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  • TrippyJingTrippyJing hot hot hot hot stayin' alive stayin' aliveRegistered User regular
    Furious Swordfights With a Vengeance
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  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    what'd you think of Haywire, @poorochondriac?

    i'm too drunk right now to contribute anything on the topic of merit right now, and will probably regret bringing it up tomorrow morning without contributing piss

    but i really did actually like it. it's something i hope there's more of
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  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Registered User regular
    Futore wrote: »
    what'd you think of Haywire, @poorochondriac?

    i'm too drunk right now to contribute anything on the topic of merit right now, and will probably regret bringing it up tomorrow morning without contributing piss

    but i really did actually like it. it's something i hope there's more of

    Haywire owns. I would love, love, love to see more action flicks built around female leads. Last good one I can think of was the first 90% of Salt. (That one went way overboard with plot twists and "Let's build a franchise!" wankery at the end, but was mostly a really fun ride)

    Haywire's soundtrack also owns, which I'm actually listening to as I type this!
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  • PharezonPharezon Struggle is an illusion. Victory is in the Qun.Registered User regular
    I liked Fast Five a lot! It's really unfortunate that there's a shitload of male gaze though. Like, damn. Stop that objectification please. Let's get back to Vinn Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson engaging in a philosophical conversation through the medium of walls and doors.
    jkZziGc.png
  • existexist Registered User regular
    i played a flash game of 2 fast 2 furious and it was awesome and the whole time the music was like

    "TOO FAST,

    TOO FURIOUS!"

    repeated over and over
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  • Man of the WavesMan of the Waves Registered User regular
    I am disappointed in the zero effort title, though


    2 Fast 2 Furious 3

    Or perhaps

    3 Fast 3 Furious 2
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  • BeastehBeasteh RIP BIG CHRIZZLERegistered User regular
    does macklemore do the theme to this because guh

    hhhhglorf

    ptoo

    ackkktppttphphpt
  • BeastehBeasteh RIP BIG CHRIZZLERegistered User regular
    at least whoever does that 'life in the fast lane' bit sounds eerily similar
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    or die hard

    Unfortunately Mr. Swordfights will not be joining us for the rest of his life.
    "Advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice."
    "Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process."
    Imagine all of my posts being spoken by Alec Baldwin
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  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Registered User regular
    or die hard

    Unfortunately Mr. Swordfights will not be joining us for the rest of his life.

    Ha, his post literally didn't register with me. Like, I didn't skip it, but my brain must've just rejected it outright and blocked it out.

    This isn't even a joke.
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