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Get out of my dreams and into my Car Porn Action Movie Franchise Part 6
OK! YES THIS IS WHAT I WANT FUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEEEAAAAAH
Fast and Furious 6 is the latest installment in the deliriously silly but exciting franchise. We get to meet up with all our favorite characters such as:
Vin Diesel as Mumbly, getting kind of chubby former face of the franchise who is now superfluous because of the addition of...
The Rock as way bigger, buffer, more charismatic former adversary now coming to our heroes for help
Also starring!
Paul Walker as charisma black hole who says "cuz" a lot and is ostensibly the 2nd lead
Jordanna Brewster as somehow we are supposed to believe related to Vin Diesel plus charisma black hole's baby mama
Tyrese Gibson as buff black guy who replaced vin diesel when he didnt want to do Fast 2 and has stuck around as a tertiary character
Michelle Rodriguez as character that was supposed to be dead but turns out she isnt because they made another movie
Sung Kang as that guy who died in Tokyo Drift but was so cool that every movie made after Tokyo Drift has taken place chronologically before just so he could still be around
I want the excuse of bringing back Michelle Rodriguez's character to be awful.
My preference is that it's her twin sister that nobody knew about, but as long as it's awful and everybody accepts it as fact, I'm going to be fine with it.
a really fun game to play is to watch the climax of Fast Five and keep a running tally of how many people our heroes probably killed with that bank vault and its subsequent chase.
spoiler alert: it gets well up into the double digits. possibly triple digits if you consider that car crashes become fatal around 35+ mph
i'm too drunk right now to contribute anything on the topic of merit right now, and will probably regret bringing it up tomorrow morning without contributing piss
but i really did actually like it. it's something i hope there's more of
i'm too drunk right now to contribute anything on the topic of merit right now, and will probably regret bringing it up tomorrow morning without contributing piss
but i really did actually like it. it's something i hope there's more of
Haywire owns. I would love, love, love to see more action flicks built around female leads. Last good one I can think of was the first 90% of Salt. (That one went way overboard with plot twists and "Let's build a franchise!" wankery at the end, but was mostly a really fun ride)
Haywire's soundtrack also owns, which I'm actually listening to as I type this!
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PharezonStruggle is an illusion.Victory is in the Qun.Registered Userregular
I liked Fast Five a lot! It's really unfortunate that there's a shitload of male gaze though. Like, damn. Stop that objectification please. Let's get back to Vinn Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson engaging in a philosophical conversation through the medium of walls and doors.
Unfortunately Mr. Swordfights will not be joining us for the rest of his life.
"Advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice."
"Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process." Imagine all of my posts being spoken by Alec Baldwin
GamerTag: MunkusBeaver ||||| Steam: munkus
Posts
I was briefly worried no one else was as excited for this as me
dude makes bank and all he has to do is not undermine the script with his performance
mine is TYRESE
Furiously masturbating
unrelated
My preference is that it's her twin sister that nobody knew about, but as long as it's awful and everybody accepts it as fact, I'm going to be fine with it.
{Twitter, Everybody's doing it. }{My Rambling Blog}
When the franchise started I figured it was basically Car Porn: The Movie and since I really don't care about cars, I passed
But now they've got The Rock in it and suddenly I care
You're a crook, Captain Hook, Judge, won't you throw the book at the pirate!
i even liked her on lost
What. The. Hell.
PSN: Bogestrom
R.I.P. Wampa Milk
Also
Ana Lucia was fine
You're a crook, Captain Hook, Judge, won't you throw the book at the pirate!
ana lucia had a really tough life
you should mention her
spoiler alert: it gets well up into the double digits. possibly triple digits if you consider that car crashes become fatal around 35+ mph
My friends and I were drunk in the back row of the empty matinee theater chanting "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
Isn't that badass MMA fighter from Haywire in this?
i'm too drunk right now to contribute anything on the topic of merit right now, and will probably regret bringing it up tomorrow morning without contributing piss
but i really did actually like it. it's something i hope there's more of
Haywire owns. I would love, love, love to see more action flicks built around female leads. Last good one I can think of was the first 90% of Salt. (That one went way overboard with plot twists and "Let's build a franchise!" wankery at the end, but was mostly a really fun ride)
Haywire's soundtrack also owns, which I'm actually listening to as I type this!
"TOO FAST,
TOO FURIOUS!"
repeated over and over
2 Fast 2 Furious 3
Or perhaps
3 Fast 3 Furious 2
Steam:BuckarooHolidayNNID:BuckarooHolidayXBLGamertag:BuckarooHoliday
Twitter:@BuckarooHoliday
3DS Friend Code:3394-3880-2299
hhhhglorf
ptoo
ackkktppttphphpt
Unfortunately Mr. Swordfights will not be joining us for the rest of his life.
"Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process."
Imagine all of my posts being spoken by Alec Baldwin
GamerTag: MunkusBeaver ||||| Steam: munkus
Ha, his post literally didn't register with me. Like, I didn't skip it, but my brain must've just rejected it outright and blocked it out.
This isn't even a joke.