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Posts
why am I on a two-foot-wide garden path?
why do I have the option to travel between two ramshackle buildings?
what r u doing google
Actual Play: Mage: the Awakening - At the Edge of All Things
Hah!
fffffffffffffff
6500 points
probably should have zoomed waaaay in to run up the score
The Little Engine that Couldn't: A Social Justice Tale
The Little Engine that Couldn't wanted to set out to the station over the hill in order to pick up non-genderdefined Tumblr users who were going on a march demonstration against the patriarchy (It would have been a march, but they realised this was an ableist term). But just as the little engine was about to set out, it learned that the tracks had been laid by a racial minority on minimum wage.
"What shitlord hired Mexicans to lay these tracks?" Wailed the little engine.
"We had to hire whoever would work for minimum wage." Replied the station controller, who was a white, middle aged, heterosexual male whose very presence oppressed the little engine.
"I didn't ask you, fuck face!" Yelled the little engine. "Stop raping me with your patriarchy!"
The station controller was concerned by this accusation, and didn't want to have to field any frivolous lawsuits, so he left to fetch the lady who sold tickets, to see if she could use her status as an empowered womyn to convince the little engine to do its fucking job.
Meanwhile a little boy came up to the little engine. "You're not a very nice train" said the little boy. But his privileged upbringing angered the little engine.
"I identify as a bisexual ice dragon! I DEMAND you refer to me as my preferred species!" Screamed the little engine.
"You look like a train to me." Said the little boy.
"It's not my job to educate you, shitlord!" Shouted the engine. "You can't understand what it's like to be womyn oppressed by the patriarchy, because you have a penis!"
"But you're a train... You don't even have sex organs." He said, matter of factly.
"A VAGINA IS A STATE OF MIND!" screamed the little engine.
At this point the little boy decided to give up his dream of becoming a train driver, it was clear that trains were too difficult to deal with. Instead he decided to use his white privilege as a springboard for a career as a stock broker, so he'd never have to use public transport again, and he could have a trophy wife who wouldn't care about Womyn's Issues as long as he kept giving her money. Just as he left, the station controller returned with the ticket lady.
The ticket lady had worked at the station a long time, and she had seen many things, but never had she encountered an engine that claimed to be a bisexual female ice dragon. The little engine saw her approach, and respected xer as a womyn identifying individual, but was concerned that such an old person was probably an internalized misogynist shill for the patriarchy.
"Can you believe that little fuck?" Asked the little engine, rhetorically. Zee wanted to test the ticket lady's sympathy to the Social Justice Cause.
"He's young and innocent." Replied the ticket lady, clearly impatient. "And you are running late to collect the activists for their demonstration."
"His constant mis-speciesing and mis-gendering triggered me! I just... can't!" Screamed the little engine. "And besides, it's not my job to educate little shitlords!"
"No, but it is your job to bring the passengers to their destination." Replied the ticket lady. She had always worked an honest job, and had no patience for the modern youth, and their unrealistic expectations.
"STOP OPPRESSING ME, SHITLORD! Your internalized misogyny is raping my mind vagina! I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH ALL OF YOU TRIGGERING ME!" Shouted the little train, before zee burst into tears. Then, whilst sobbing, added "This is totally going on my Tumblr account!"
So the station controller sent another train to pick up the activists, and with a heavy heart, had another engine come to tow away the little engine that couldn't, so zee could be scrapped and turned into something useful.
Unmotivate - Updated May 17th - "Let's Complain About Nintendo"
The PA Forumer 'Lets Play' Archive - Updated March 25th, 2013
In NZ and at least one part of Britain, a corner shop is referred to as a dairy.
I will play this game I think. Geoguesser is the name right?
I am walking past people's lawn furniture
Actual Play: Mage: the Awakening - At the Edge of All Things
Hahahahahahaa.
Oh no
yep!
or geoguessr rather
proper spelling is so web 1.0
Actual Play: Mage: the Awakening - At the Edge of All Things
orly
My first one being shitwizard.
Shitwizards clearly rank higher than shitlords.
Unmotivate - Updated May 17th - "Let's Complain About Nintendo"
The PA Forumer 'Lets Play' Archive - Updated March 25th, 2013
get up on the stage and pull an av face
then walk off without saying a word
He lives on as cheezburger grease in our hearts.
no 360 view
just the window
Ideally it would disable movement.
Then I found out that I'll get a whopping ten minutes.
I think I'll just walk on stage, say "Hi, I do programming", show a screenshot from a Matrix screensaver and then walk off the stage.
Hence From Reddit
now i am on a soccer field!
Actual Play: Mage: the Awakening - At the Edge of All Things
the fuck did i just read
He lives on as cheezburger grease in our hearts.
I was off by 200km because I guessed it must be in a national park near the coast because there was a touristy-looking public toilet block beside the road, but nope, just the middle of nowhere on the border with Canada.
If I had to read it, you have to read it.
Are you sure they didn't mean (London)Derry, Capital City of County (London)Derry and second largest city in Northern Ireland, also called the Maiden City because it withstood a siege in 1689 and her walls weren't breached?
You're not the shitlord of me.
it'd still be luck of the draw to get great scores on every one because you're bound to get one who-the-fuck-knows-middle-of-nowhere
but let's see
...in Spain
you know what, fuck colonialism
this bares all the hall marks of something written by you
He lives on as cheezburger grease in our hearts.
That's quite ableist of you to assume I am a single entity. Which one are you asserting isn't the shitlord?
For my first few tries I didn't even know you could zoom in on the guess map
Damn you geoguessr
This is the greatest thing you have ever posted.
"Oh man my amazon.com order didn't come today"
"HAHA OWNED"
"Oh no! My Grandma is in the hospital!"
"HAHA OWNED!"
Guilt by stench-association.
yeah but it's built on top of the Google Earth thing so oh well.
Unmotivate - Updated May 17th - "Let's Complain About Nintendo"
The PA Forumer 'Lets Play' Archive - Updated March 25th, 2013
c was just a generic american guess, got no help
b was fantastic, initial location was right in front of a roadsign with several polish cities and the road name. the road goes all the way through poland though and it didn't give a good sense for which side of the cities i was on, no distance given, so i was quite a bit off there
a i saw a sign that said something about a fire management zone for a certain part of the yukon but no more specific, took a decent guess
then the other two...
basically had google maps in another window and used street view to get them basically identical