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I also watched this interesting presentation on mood disorders in my own profession: http://www.confreaks.com/videos/2341-mwrc2013-devs-and-depression
Some background: Back in 2007 I was diagnosed with a mood disorder, but I didn't really believe it. My negative emotions had grounding in events that actually happened to me (went from hardcore Christian to atheist, plus came out as gay, and lost most of my friends because of both of those facts, and experienced some pretty terrible responses from my parents whom I was close to) and once I moved past those events things got better.
However, for the past year or so things haven't really been so great. One the one hand, anxiety has started to really make things difficult. On a week to week basis, I can have a week where everything is fine and I don't feel especially anxious at all, or I can have a week where doing anything with other humans causes me physical pain -- trouble breathing, heart pounding, headaches --, and most of the time my anxious feelings are somewhere in the middle. And on the other hand, I feel like my emotional range has been really limited. The best I feel is mildly amused, and the worst I feel is just sort of mildly sad. I tend to have the same emotional reaction to Iron Man 3 as I do to doing work.
This has caused me to have troubling thoughts about the nature of my own experience as a human being. I look out to the possible experiences that I could have and I find myself knowing that they'll all feel flat to me, and not really that different. And I also find myself feeling sort of exhausted -- the prospect of experiencing life feels like a chore that I just have to get through. It is difficult for me to observe both of these facts (life's events feeling emotionally flat, plus feeling that life's events are a chore) and not drift into thoughts about my own continued consciousness ultimately being of questionable value. Which makes me want to ignore the entire issue altogether, as I have done for some time.
The weird thing is that I really don't have any reason to feel bad or anxious about things. I have a good career. I don't have money problems. I have lots of time off. I am safe and healthy. I have friends, even though for the past year I haven't really spent much time with them (due to the aforementioned emotional issues). I guess I've just been imagining/hoping that I'll just get better. But it's been a while now, and things haven't been getting better. In the past six months or so, it's been quite the opposite -- things feel like they're getting a fair bit worse
So I scheduled a doctor's appointment for next week. This is something I'm sort of ashamed of, I guess. Like why should I be complaining, I have so much more than other people do who have legitimate reason to be upset. I haven't talked about this at all to people I know in real life. I'm half imagining that the doctor will think I'm just seeking out drugs for recreational use or something. ANYways.
For real
Yeah, but there are at least legal alternatives now, and games tend not to be cracked quite as quickly.
My MX Revolution lets me alternate between standard and "free spin".
This was my point. You have to make good content that is readily available at a competitive price. Two outta three won't cut it. Steam is basically the only company here doing that.
It was great entertainment, like whoah!
Like CCGs? Check my CCG's Thread in CF and help me playtest it!
That may be the funniest thing I ever saw on television.
I'm glad, I like those dudes
i didn't know you were jewish
I'd like to hope those people have matured and changed their outlook on the situation
I did
That said I don't know what the specific complaints are here and they may or may not have merit
He's a cool guy. Did you notice how the Vanu suddenly got a lot cooler looking recently? They changed up their coloration to make them a lot more dark and machiney and less purple spandexy.
"There's a stereotype that black people like to shout at movie theatres"
*Awkward laughter*
"and there's a stereotype that white people are uptight, and I guess you just proved it with that first thing"
Piracy, while still easy, is harder than this, and really the only people doing it now for video games are douches.
would you actually make a profit texting me from the states every week for tree fiddy?
He lives on as cheezburger grease in our hearts.
if i had spent money on dota2 i would have bought some bitching mirana cosmetics and be strutting that shit all day
To my knowledge all stab vests worn by police officers in the UK offer some level of protection against firearms.
Mostly pistols given they've not got ceramic-plates, but when those two GMP police women were killed the vests stopped any of the bullets penetrating it.
Dude is excellent.
...holy shit it does. I was about to tell you that you were a crazy person and that mice do not have transmissions, but I pushed a random button on top if it and it stopped the free spin
buying stuff is great
a lot of artists encourage both!
I bought a DTP t-shirt because he told the crowd to pirate his newest album and he didn't have any t-shirts for sale
maybe I'm just susceptible to reverse psychology but hey, it worked!
First of all, don't feel like you shouldn't post stuff like this here.
This is a very good place for it.
Also, to answer the last paragraph, because you're not sad, you caught a bug, basically. Like bronchitis but for the brain, to quote a thing.
it's great that you've managed to take steps to fix it before that gets too hard. I hope it goes well.
I really really wish that PS2 didn't run like crap on my laptop
Because I enjoy the game and I've invested quite a bit o cheddar
Hmm. I'd have to investigate the international texting charges. Who is your service provider.
I've probably spent $50 on dota 2, easy.
Valve got its hooks in me nooo
also, boo, you're on helios. I'm on ceres.
I will throw popcorn and shit at you until you stop.
You are doing the right thing, and if the first doctor doesn't listen, find one who will.
You are absolutely doing the right thing here. If you ever want to talk about anxiety issues, feel free to PM me anytime.
I'm worried I might start playing DOTA 2.
No, piracy is not harder than that at all.
Oh cool.
I just remember it being a thing when they were first introduced to Strathclyde Police. The papers mostly presented it as "ballistic vests won't stop knives, stab vests won't stop bullets".
http://i.imgur.com/3i06Dsh.gif
No. I only notice the hatred and anger the sight of purple inspires in me.
Live free in the NC.
And I have similar problems with not feeling certain emotions, like being happy. Things can be funny, and exciting, and I can anticipate, but actually being happy is something that has alluded me for years. When I am, it's so temporary, it might as well not even have happened. Every time I get near being happy something in my head says "this just means that the other shoe is about to drop, and you're going to regret it".
O2
He lives on as cheezburger grease in our hearts.
I'm not! It's super tasty though, and I know what it's supposed to come out like (as opposed to, say, a brioche). It's my first time making a really egg-heavy dough, so I wanted to try a bread where I would recognize failure.
it resulted in me buying like 2 copies of EU2 and all of it's expansions, EU3 and all of its expansions, CK1/2, Victoria, HoI2/3... basically all of the paradox interactive grand strategy i could get my hands on
piracy still sux tho and i don't engage or condone it