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Universal Studio's new film in November: Ender's Game

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  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    The Geebs That Is A Pony wrote: »
    wasn't there a hatchet 2 where he's living in the city and he's all I HATE THIS SHIT and then he ends up back in the woods

    I think that's Brian's Return
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  • PaladinPaladin Registered User regular
    I think that was The River
    ‮Marty: The future, it's where you're going?
    Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    The River was the one where the government hires him to show their soldiers his totally leet survival skills
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  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Centipede Damascus wrote: »
    let me tell you about how much I loved the Chronicles of Narnia
    I have a Chronicles of Narnia omnibus on my bookshelf.
    I keep it next to the "His Dark Materials" trilogy because my sense of humor is broken.
  • The Geebs That Is A PonyThe Geebs That Is A Pony Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    okay so according to wikipedia the river is a sequel to hatchet, but the other two sequels are actually sequels to brian's winter, a book that was written because readers complained that the ending of the original hatchet was unrealistic
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  • HullisHullis I'm no more a spy than you are- A doctor.Registered User regular
    Alright, fuck it, I'm breaking it down

    Hatchet: 13 year old survives a plane crash deep in the Canadian Wilderness and survives for 54 days in the wilderness

    The River: Brian, now 15, is hired by the government to recreate his ordeal so the military can learn from him. Accompanied by a government psychologist, Brian is forced to make do after lightning strikes his tent and puts the other guy in a coma


    Brian's Winter: The third book in the series, but chronologically follows Hatchet as an alternate storyline where Brian does not make it home by the end of the summer. The rest of the books follow this timeline.

    Brian's Return: Brian goes back to the woods after being unable to fit into society.

    Brian's Hunt: Brian fights a bear that murders his only human friends.
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  • HullisHullis I'm no more a spy than you are- A doctor.Registered User regular
    Gary Paulsen wrote some weird-ass books
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  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    The lake is obviously cursed.
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    yeah now that I look into it, The River is the non-canon one
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  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    Brian's War: the Brian of Brian's Winter onwards, dubbed Survivor Brian, escapes to the timeline of Government Operative Brian after Survivor Brian's world undergoes complete devastation (which Survivor Brian survives). Survivor Brian has gone mad and seeks to visit a similar catastrophe upon Government Operative Brian's world both as a form of twisted revenge and as a way to seize Government Operative Brian's power and become The One
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  • Crimson KingCrimson King the freedom of birds is an insult to me i'd have them all in zoosRegistered User regular
    so this is how people who didn't read animorphs felt a few pages ago
  • HullisHullis I'm no more a spy than you are- A doctor.Registered User regular
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    Brian's War: the Brian of Brian's Winter onwards, dubbed Survivor Brian, escapes to the timeline of Government Operative Brian after Survivor Brian's world undergoes complete devastation (which Survivor Brian survives). Survivor Brian has gone mad and seeks to visit a similar catastrophe upon Government Operative Brian's world both as a form of twisted revenge and as a way to seize Government Operative Brian's power and become The One

    This unleashes ebola on Earth, setting up The Transall Saga
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  • AntimatterAntimatter I remember touch I need something moreRegistered User regular
    Brian's Song: after leaving the forest Brian becomes a musician and eventually a football player.
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  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    BYToady wrote: »
    The lake is obviously cursed.

    WE HAVE TO GO BACK
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  • FencingsaxFencingsax Registered User regular
    Huh, I thought it was just called Winter.

    Also, it took me an embarrasingly long time to figure out that the Xanth books were creepy.

    Because 9% think it's too high, and shouldn't be cut! 9% of respondents could not fully
    get their arms around the question. There should be another box you can check for, "I
    have utterly no idea what you're talking about. Please, God, don't ask for my input."
  • HullisHullis I'm no more a spy than you are- A doctor.Registered User regular
    I read too much goddamn tamora pierce as a youngster
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  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    Lesson one of Brian's military guide to surviving the wilderness. Pass out after getting a concussion and get a massive sunburn.
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • GatsbyGatsby Last night I had a dream about you In this dream I'm dancing right beside youRegistered User regular
    Hullis wrote: »
    I read too much goddamn tamora pierce as a youngster

    I met her at a signing as a kid.

    Only little boy amidst a whole room of young women and girls. I think she was very surprised and glad to see one boy love her works.

    I also made it my mission to get a book and poster signed for my school library as thank you for introducing me to such fiction.
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  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Yeah I had I think the first three trilogies or whatever of the Drizzt books in the big omnibus editions

    also the Cleric Quintet which was all about guys look at this cleric he is wicked cool and good at everything

    couple pages back, but I just had to point out that the main character in the Cleric Quintet fights chiefly with two weapons he designed himself:

    a hand-crossbow that fires exploding bolts

    A BATTLE YO-YO


    he literally fights monsters with a weaponized yo-yo
  • MorivethMoriveth Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Yeah I had I think the first three trilogies or whatever of the Drizzt books in the big omnibus editions

    also the Cleric Quintet which was all about guys look at this cleric he is wicked cool and good at everything

    couple pages back, but I just had to point out that the main character in the Cleric Quintet fights chiefly with two weapons he designed himself:

    a hand-crossbow that fires exploding bolts

    A BATTLE YO-YO


    he literally fights monsters with a weaponized yo-yo

    Yeah he does!

    Also the creepy raper guy from his cleric school eventually becomes an eeeevil vampire and then the guy has to kill him and he is like mega good
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  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    God damn Hatchet. 2/3rds of the way through the book the author is all "and then 2 months pass, deal w/it".
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • DarmakDarmak Godking of the Shitwizards CUNTINGFUCKSHITASSRegistered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Yeah I had I think the first three trilogies or whatever of the Drizzt books in the big omnibus editions

    also the Cleric Quintet which was all about guys look at this cleric he is wicked cool and good at everything

    couple pages back, but I just had to point out that the main character in the Cleric Quintet fights chiefly with two weapons he designed himself:

    a hand-crossbow that fires exploding bolts

    A BATTLE YO-YO


    he literally fights monsters with a weaponized yo-yo

    Gonna have to see if there's a Kindle version now
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  • DarmakDarmak Godking of the Shitwizards CUNTINGFUCKSHITASSRegistered User regular
    Yup, buying all 5 books now
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  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    you might be thinking "how is he supposed to fight off zombies and vampires with a simple battle yo-yo? that's ridiculous!"


    Don't worry, he gets a Battle Yo-Yo +1 after a book or two.
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Brian's Brain.

    Earth suddenly explodes and Brian's body is flung out into space. Aliens observing the explosion collect his frozen body, however they can only save his brain and give him a new robot body, the type with the brain in a jar on top. On their way back to their home planet they crash land on a hostile wilderness world. Brian's brain in his metal body is the only survivor. He survives until the rescue beacon is found by the aliens or some shit.
    360: Sir Stiggleton PSN: Stiggy_PA GFWL: RacerStig Steam: TheStig
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    The aliens review the black box recorder on both the ship and the one installed in Brian's Brain Box Bot and decide he is cursed, leaving him to exist eternally on an abandoned planet.
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Registered User regular
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Brian's Song: after leaving the forest Brian becomes a musician and eventually a football player.

    How the hell are you able to make a Brian's Song joke, a made-for-TV movie from 1971, and yet you'd never heard "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies

    Girl you don't make a lick of goddang sense
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  • smofsmof The meanest dinosaur Registered User regular
    Man, clearly when I was reading all those Redwall books as a kid I was missing out on some crazy fucking stuff.

    All I remember about Animorphs was one scene from the TV show where a kid runs into the road to save a dog from being hit by a car and the car hits him but he's fine because he's actually a dog robot disguised as a human?
    Steam! Be my friend!
  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Brian's Song: after leaving the forest Brian becomes a musician and eventually a football player.

    ... never heard "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies...

    What a wonderful state of being.

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  • The Geebs That Is A PonyThe Geebs That Is A Pony Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    Prolegomena wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Brian's Song: after leaving the forest Brian becomes a musician and eventually a football player.

    ... never heard "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies...

    What a wonderful state of being.

    whoa. WHOA.
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  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Registered User regular
    Prolegomena wrote: »
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Brian's Song: after leaving the forest Brian becomes a musician and eventually a football player.

    ... never heard "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies...

    What a wonderful state of being.

    IT'S BEEN nice knowing you, but I'm afraid we can't be friends any more
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  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    Wait! I can change!

    Well...

    You can change.
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  • nightmarennynightmarenny Registered User regular
    Prolegomena wrote: »
    Wait! I can change!

    Well...

    You can change.

    Who would want to turn into...

    THAT

    *Gestures at all of you*
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    My Band "The Wicked Girls"
  • Bluedude152Bluedude152 Registered User regular
    I am ashamed by how many Warrior Cats books I own
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  • Big Red TieBig Red Tie gem flipping just to get by stack your billions till they get sky highRegistered User regular
    dont worry i own a lot of owl guardian books
  • Bluedude152Bluedude152 Registered User regular
    The funny part is that the book is still going. They are on their fourth series or something
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  • SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    After reading the past few pages, I need to
    A) Go buy some Terry Pratchett (I have never read him)
    B) Pick up a Xanth book just for a laugh from a used bookstore. (Disclaimer: I used to have 15-20 of them, sold them all when I was 15 or 16, because even teenage me knew then that yeah).
    Steam ID - Syphyreal
  • Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Polar Warbear ˁ ͡° ᴥ ͡°ˀRegistered User regular
    Bluedude152 wrote: »
    I am ashamed by how many Warrior Cats books I own

    I got a bunch of Seeker bears books by the same authors.
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  • AntimatterAntimatter I remember touch I need something moreRegistered User regular
    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Brian's Song: after leaving the forest Brian becomes a musician and eventually a football player.

    How the hell are you able to make a Brian's Song joke, a made-for-TV movie from 1971, and yet you'd never heard "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies

    Girl you don't make a lick of goddang sense
    it was played in middle school in some class or another after we read an adaptation of it in our textbooks
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  • Andy JoeAndy Joe Registered User regular
    I read a couple Piers Anthony novels when I was in high school.

    Really annoyed by the overuse of "balk", never went back.
    Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
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